Humans Cause Global Warming

Humans Cause Global Warming
PARIS-

The U.N. climate panel on global warming came to complete agreement on the causes of global warming. Issuing its starkest warning yet the panel declared that humans are one of the main causes of global warming. There was also a total consensus as they urged countries to put the earth first and save the the planet at any cost. Fearing humans through their continued existence would bring more drought, heat waves and rising seas, the delegates warned U.S. President Obama and other world leaders that they must take drastic steps before the earth is completely destroyed.

The report, due for release on Friday farther bolsters conclusions from a 2001 study that put pressure on the governments and companies to do more to curb CO2 emissions in their countries.

Scientists and government officials in the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate
Change (IPCC), the most authoritative group on global warming, agreed in a
unanimous consensus that there was strong evidence that human activities were the main cause of global warming increasing over the past 100 years to unacceptable limits. In their strongest language, the IPCC encouraged all countries to do everything possible to end the destructive human behaviors responsible for climate change.

Farther studies have shown that humans as the cause of global warming are also responsible for numerous activities that have been shown to destroy ecosystems, cause the extinction of species and deplete natural resources. These environmental terrorists have been shown that through their existance they are destroying the necessary resources the earth needs for its continued sustainability. While numerous groups have called for tougher regulation over the past two decades this is the first time that numerous government agencies have called for the drastic steps necessary to rein in the destructive activities that cause global warming and Earth's destruction.

After abandoning the suggestion on an implementation of a breath tax the IPCC has decided the quickest and most effective way to stop the ongoing Holocene extinction event and save the planet is by implementing a total global annihilation of the main cause of climate change. In a plan to be announced in the very near future countries will begin curtailing all humans in a last ditch effort to end global warming and hopefully save the planet from one of the deadliest threats to its environment before it's to late for the planet to recover.

President Obama will shortly ask U.S. citizens to set an example to the rest of the world by being the first country to step forward under a new Global Extinction for Environmental Protection Policy. This new policy will implement the euthization of these superpreditors and is set to start immediately. In a prepared speech the President mentioned that "We must save the planet at all costs", halting questions from a number of shocked reporters President Obama continued, "in the name of global patriotism the U.S. will be the first country to do its part for the betterment of the world".

Under the forthcoming IPCC environmental plan, countries are urged to consider eradicating all humans in the quickest and most effective way possible. Information letters will be sent to citizens of major industrialized countries that are known contributors to global warming and encouraged to report at their appointed time to the nearest Citizen Extermination Facility.

President Obama in a meeting with world leaders had this to say, "It is our duty to preserve our planet at all cost. This is our responsibility as citizens; but, more than that, it is our calling as stewards of the Earth." Stopping to wipe a tear from his eye he continued, "Good stewardship of the environment is not just a personal responsibility, but the patriotic thing to do". Continuing he said, "As good Americans and citizens of this earth it is our duty to see that we end humanity. Americans should unite in the belief that we must preserve the land around us, no matter what the cost".